Yer a Bum, Rock, a Bum!

As I woke up this morning, I didn't fall. I allowed myself to float gently down to my bed, then I went back to sleep, all at peace with the world and stuff. I woke up an hour later and couldn't get an inch off the mattress. There's something there I can't unlock. I know I can do it, but I'm not able to do it, and I don't know why. I came up with this idea yesterday. I think it might be because I'm not trying hard enough, so I hired someone to help motivate me, a personal trainer.

I don't know what might happen if people find out. I can't have him telling anybody about me, so I swore him to secrecy. I used my parent's lawyer to make a contract, then I had him make another one and swore the lawyer to secrecy. Nobody's going to tell anyone anything ever.

The guy I got is super tough. He doesn't seem to care that my knees hurt or that I'm breaking the laws of physics. He doesn't even seem to care that he hasn't seen my fly, just keeps saying he's gonna get me up there. Maybe I should have done my own Who's Gonna Train Me?, part 2, part 3. Igottafightcomminup!