The Latest News From the Hero's Lair

I'm not doing anything super at all, just sitting around and watching youtube stuff. Sorry to disappoint you all, if maybe you think I haven't been writing because I was kidnapped by a mad scientist and tortured for the secrets of flight. Nope. I wish there was more to it, but I just watched this video with Sarah Vowell.



I think that sums it up pretty nicely. I thought I might also write something about assassinations. I don't know, preventing them or something, but I have the strong feeling that would have involved research of some kind. I'm just not up for that this morning.

Utter Lameitude

I was out on the street today, and this big metal thing fell off a truck into traffic. Well, it kind of slid off, and there was this guy honking his horn, who was trapped in the lane behind it. I was totally gonna go clean it up, but the truck pulled over right away, and someone was already pulling the metal thing out of the road. It had wheels, by the way. Maybe he was stealing it. I don't know.

I just stood there, part of the crowd of onlookers. That felt lame, so I left. Here was my chance to do something heroic -- I don't know what. Some disaster waiting for a hero, at least on a small scale, and I just watched it go by. Should I have flown in and scooped up the thing? Would that be any better than waiting for the light and pushing it on it's wheels? It all worked out, so I don't know what I'm stressing about, but I might not get another shot.

I've never been in a bank that's being robbed. I've never been trapped on a plummeting elevator with a load of screaming passengers. What if this is as close as I come to my shot at being a real hero, and I blew it? What if I'm not a real hero?

Time To Get Serious

There's been a lot of changes around here. I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I've been really busy. I'm finally taking the superhero thing seriously. I'm preparing, training, molding myself into a model hero. Plus, my keyboard broke, and I've been too lazy to get a new one. That made it tough to blog.

Yeah, I admit, it's taken me a while to step up to the plate. It's not easy to turn myself into a hero. I don't have a lot to work with, so I'm at kind of a disadvantage there. I keep thinking what Batman put himself through before he went out into the world to fight crime.

Don't tell anyone, but I've been working on a secret identity. Everybody in the industry has one. I don't know if you noticed, but I changed my name in the upper right. That's not my actual name in the corner of the screen. I can't have everyone on the internet know who I am. I wonder if anyone actually reads this...

I can technically go back and edit incriminating information out of old posts, but I never really wrote that much about myself anyway, so there isn't much reason to bother.

I also started working on a superhero costume, something really cool, but it's kind of specific, and I have to be sure that nobody can trace it back to me. I sure hope this secrecy thing doesn't get too exhausting. I was thinking of getting one of these. They seem futuristic and everything, but it'd be too easy to track, wouldn't it? Besides, that's a little too spandex.

I bought a pair of glasses with no prescription the other day, like Clark Kent has. I thought it might help with the whole secret identity thing. I actually found them kind of annoying. How do glasses-wearing people do it? Besides, I don't think I could convince anyone that I really wear glasses. I don't even believe it.

I got one of those police scanner things. It should help fight crime. I can hear it right now, in the other room, going all the time. I hope I get used to it. Sooner or later, it'll be time to go out and do something heroic, and I hope I'll be ready.

I guess the only thing left is to come up with a cool name. Any ideas? Seriously, if anybody does read this, and you have some ideas, I could use them.