Lost in Space

I woke up today, went up on my roof and just took off. I flew up through the clouds, and my ears popped. I'd never gone up that high before, but I felt like I had to get out of here, you know? I see the same walls every day, eat pretty much the same stuff. I still haven't broken up any bank robberies or anything. Why the hell do I even have this power?

In hindsight, I should have payed more attention to where I was going, because I came down out of the clouds and realized I had no idea where I was, and I didn't have my phone or my wallet. I guess that might have made me a little scared, and when I'm scared it gets really hard for me to fly, which makes me more scared. It's a dangerous cycle.

I walked for probably a few hours, past farms and things. Walking sucks, but nobody wanted to give me a ride. What's up with people? When I got to what they call a town out there, I couldn't even buy lunch because I didn't have any money. I finally found a bank and convinced them who I was, so they gave me some money, and I got to eat. By that time, I was so stressed out, I was never going to be able to fly home, and I had to take the bus.

I'd forgotten what a horrible experience it is to ride Greyhound, all those babies crying, awkward silences with the guy you happened to sit next to, the near paralysis from the lack of space, not to mention the smell.

I'm sure it's nothing compared to busses in Calcutta and everything, but it felt like the whole wretched mass of humanity crammed into that small-ass bus, and it sure didn't raise my opinion of humanity. I must have flown hundreds of miles this morning, because it took all afternoon and most of the night just to get home. Good thing I got enough cash for the cab fare.

I don't know what I was looking for when I went up and out, and I'm pretty sure I didn't find it, but I'm gonna think twice about going to look for it again. I'm sure there are people out there who ride the bus all the time, and that's really too bad. Now that I think about it, it makes me really sad, which makes me incapable of flight, which makes me that much more likely to have to take the bus again.

Float Like a Bee, Sting Like a Butterfly

I can't fly when I think about flying. It only works if I don't think about anything, which I'm pretty good at, but it makes it hard to keep track of where I'm going. I've been trying different ways of dealing with that, and I think I've got a good one. I do this kind of swooping thing. It's hard to describe. I fall down and forward for a while, then, because I let myself fall, I fly back up. As soon as I think about which direction I wan to go, I get distracted and stop gaining altitude, but I can fall forward in the direction I want to go. It's a little routine, and I'm getting pretty good at it, but it only works if you're not afraid to fall.

I got the idea last month that it's the same way bees fly, so I started working on this whole bee superhero idea. I found this leather jacket with yellow stripes around the sleeves. I figured that would be like a safety thing, so people could see me. I was going to get some knee pads for rough landings there were like the same pattern. I could be Bee Man, or something less lame.

Then I made the mistake of doing research, nothing in depth, just nature shows, and I realized bees don't fly that way at all. I saw some birds doing it, diving in to catch fish and stuff, but there's no way I'm going to be Pelican Man, with the super neck pouch. I bet other birds do it too, like hawks and sparrows and things, but I don't see myself using any name that might get me confused with Robin, the boy wonder.

Don't, Jump!

I was downtown today, and I passed this corner where there were all these people looking up. There were cops and firemen, but I couldn't figure out what everyone was looking at. Turns out it was this:



Some guy was out on a ledge, ready to jump. See him up there, in the blue shirt? Sorry, my phone doesn't zoom that well. The cops didn't seem to be doing anything, and one of them was going around, cordoning off a mailbox and utility pole down where I was, about a block away. Maybe he was practicing. Maybe he's the new guy, and they were keeping him busy. Anyway, I figured this was my shot. I went somewhere more secluded, where I could still see him, and got ready to fly up and catch him in mid air.

Then the bastard went back inside. How frustrating is that? Son of a bitch. Here I was, finally in a situation where I could do something useful, and he goes back inside. I tell you, I'm getting pretty sick and tired of this hero business. How am I supposed to save the world now, put solar panels on my roof? It's not exactly the most dramatic threat to mankind.

I bet he would have been heavy anyway. I've never flown with someone else before, and I don't really know how it works. If I'd caught him and dropped him or missed him completely, think how embarrassing that would have been. And what if he'd dragged me down with him? I'm not risking my life for some guy who wants to kill himself anyway.

Halloween

Well, in typical me fashion, I got drunk, fell asleep and missed the halloween party I was going to go to. It sucks because I had this great costume all ready to go. It's so simple. That's the beauty of it.


It's this tiny batman costume that hangs down in front of me. I can kick with its little leggings and punch with its tiny arms. I call it the bat bib, or the bat quatto. It's really cool, but it kind of looks like I beat up a little kid and stole his costume. Oh, well. Maybe I'll save it for next year. I guess I've been working on that instead of my actual superhero costume.

You know, I've been thinking about the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" thing, and I can't see that it's always true.

Just because you're good at something or have some ability, doesn't mean that you need to use it. Hitler was pretty good at wiping out the Jews. That doesn't mean that he should have. I mean, you shouldn't do things just because you can, and maybe I shouldn't be jumping off buildings to save people or whatever. There's no clear moral imperative that says I have to do things. Sometimes it's better just to get drunk and fall asleep on the couch.